HUMMER H3T Alpha

Walked into a HUMMER dealership lately? The poster child for everything wrong with the automotive industry went from a vibrant, stylish lounge for conspicuous consumption to a somber, museum-like tribute to modern architecture and failed business models. It’s a sad combination of soaring heights and eerie, uncomfortable silence. This also describes the HUMMER H3T Alpha to the proverbial T: the brand’s failed promises of functionality and fashion for a premium price culminate into the worst product rollout of the 2009 model year.

But wait a moment: can we still party like its 1999? The H3T’s rugged proportions, slender overhangs, unmolested lines and an unbelievably evocative front grille could’ve set the burgeoning SUV flame into a five alarm fire. It’s a brand honest effort in contrast to every other GM division that squanders, distorts or disregards their potential. The style is classically right, but socially wrong.

Which makes it right, in a historically perverse way. Driving the H3T down Houston’s boulevard of broken dreams feels like the (hopelessly optimistic) pink tailfins of a ’59 Caddy cruising Pennsylvania Avenue while a black armband protest against the Vietnam War looms in the background. Two generations, two schools of thought collide all over again: part of which is why the H3T is the coolest lifestyle-enhancing wannabe ever created. No matter what you think, there will never be a vehicle like this again.

And that’s gotta be worth something, since there’s not much worth cheering for inside. While HUMMER infused the Chevy Colorado’s interior with a great pair of contrast-piped leather seats and faux cowhide door inserts, the rest of the re-skin reeks of down market dour. Unyielding plastics are immensely stain proof, and the black chrome center stack absolutely begs for more reinforcements to justify the H3T’s lofty asking price. And from the mudslide of bass from the Monsoon Audio to the lack of a rear seat armrest, the baby HUMMER is lost in the dark ages of SUV interiors.

Note: if an H3 driver cuts you off in the shopping mall parking garage, don’t hate the player. Hate the game. The memorable styling of the HUMMER brand translates into side/rear visibility that makes a Chrysler 300 blush. The only lifeline to scratch free sheetmetal is a pair of gargantuan side view mirrors, creating a series of educated guesses as to where the 5-foot bed lies in relation to fixed objects. With these sightlines, the HUMMER lifestyle requires a damn good spotter for any serious four-wheelin’ event.

But things ease up back in the real world of the urban cowboy. The H3T is an easy rider, with basketball-height sidewalls and a softly sprung suspension. But the chassis has more flex than you’d expect in a modern pickup. No surprise there, the third-rate engineering of the Chevy Colorado shows up again. And this isn’t a hack job of the H3 SUV: the fully enclosed baby-HUMMER fares no better in back-to-back testing.

Which makes the off road ready H3T’s poor handling less of a surprise. The Alpha HUMMER still weighs in at a massive 5069lb, with more body roll, brake dive and understeer compared to the (relatively) refined movements of a full-size Chevy pickup. Maybe that’s fine—this brand makes no bones about it’s admirable off road manners coming straight from the factory.

Don’t like it? Don’t buy it. But that cocky attitude no longer works for the Big H.

So consider the H3T’s genuine truck bed with a handful of rails, tie downs and hidden storage tricks. Plus, being V8 motivated, this must be a manly man’s truck: the unique “Alpha” interior/exterior badging and brushed aluminum plaque bearing GM’s Performance Parts trademark (on the engine) mean something. Or not: the H3T Alpha has far more “area under the curve” over the standard offering’s five-pot mill, but the modest peak numbers and a quad-cog gearbox fail to motivate this leviathan in a fashion befitting Detroit’s other body-on-frame beasts.

So the H3T Alpha is the quasi-truck that prefers you not compare it to a real truck, much less the other poseurs at Chevrolet, Ford and Honda showrooms. That’s because the HUMMER’s payload capacity is almost 400lb less than the car-like Ridgeline, and tows about 1000lb less than the independently sprung Ford Sport Trac. The bed is an ergonomic triple threat: small, narrow and tall. Don’t even think about the folding mid-gate from the Chevy Avalanche as the H3T isn’t built on that GM platform. Oops.

If we still lived in the SUV’s heyday, the HUMMER H3T Alpha’s lack of substance wouldn’t mean squat. It’s got the right look, has a mean (sounding) engine and works like a somewhat incompetent pickup. But the market has changed, and even if HUMMER used their whole ass while creating the H3T Alpha they’d still screw the pooch. Hasta la vista, baby.

2010 Hummer H3T

Photos and words by Ben Wojdyla for Pickup Trucks

It was 7 degrees out when our 2010 Hummer H3T broke through the inch-thick ice crust hiding deep mudholes at AM General's Hummer driving school. It’s not weather for man or beast or unjustly vilified pickup truck, but the H3T plodded on, barely scraping the truck's hitch. It's this kind of all-terrain, all-condition capability that the Hummer brand sells its products on -- but is the H3T any good battling the sprawling vistas of mall parking lots and home improvement battlefields? Is the H3T good as a truck?

The Hummer H3T might have had the least serendipitous introduction timing of any truck. Ever. In the early 2000s, anything with a Hummer badge was the must-have rig of suburban parents with modest broods eager to park a tough truck in the driveway instead of a minivan. Nothing like these trucks and their unabashedly bold looks had been seen before. Then Al Gore's “An Inconvenient Truth” came out, the green movement took hold, and nearly overnight Hummer's favorable image with buyers shattered almost as easily as the early winter ice. Hummer became a pariah. Fate, she is a cruel mistress.

The H3T is a product so anchored to the perceived sins of its fathers — the H2, H2 SUT and, to a lesser extent, the military-grade H1 — as to make it difficult to consider buying anything with the Hummer seven-slot grille. Off-roaders call it a too-long wannabe; pickup buyers imagine it as a dolled-up Chevy Colorado; and folks high on hybrids think it's the devil. In reality, it's none of those things.

Our H3T tester was an Alpha model, decked out with all the trimmings. Its 300-hp, 5.3-liter V-8 delivered propulsion with 320 pounds-feet of torque, while the Hydra-Matic 4L60 four-speed automatic transmitted that power to the wheels through full-time four-wheel-drive. Front and rear locking differentials and high and low transfer case selections are made at the push of a button, so you never have to get your shoes dirty. Wheels are beefy 33-inch tires and sit in front of four-wheel disc brakes. The front independent, rear solid axle setup makes for interesting compromises to both on- and off-roading. The truck uses a modified version of the platform underpinning the Colorado and Canyon midsize pickup twins, with four passengers comfortably riding in the cabin, five in a pinch.

Hopping into the cabin you're greeted by the H3T Alpha's comfortable leather chairs, which are bolstered and supportive enough to burn hours of seat time on the highway and off-road without complaint. The rear seats are just as nice, with plenty of legroom, although the gun-slit windows and deep tint bring a certain morose atmosphere to the rear. Instrumentation comes via clear, legible gauges, which, aside from providing engine and wheel speed and temperature, don't do much other informing. The low-mounted nav screen has all the expected modern features — navigation, satellite and terrestrial radio, etc. but it feels like something of an afterthought. If you happen to have a Y chromosome, good luck getting any of the physical buttons to function under your meaty fingers, however the touch-screen works fine, though the graphical interface is somewhat lacking.

Piloting the Hummer H3T is something of an enigma. It's a bit ponderous in that up front, the view is excellent; You know exactly where the corners are and never question whether the truck will fit through an opening. Backing up, however, is a little more harrowing. Merging lanes, especially to the right side, is an act of faith. The combination of narrow windows, a freakishly high bed line and the rear passenger headrest all combine to make deciding to merge more akin to using a divining rod than defensive driving practice. Other aspects of visibility were never as disconcerting.

Hauling can be an interesting proposition. The H3T is something of a lightweight when it comes to payload, rated at only 1,031 pounds. That's on par with small trucks, though the H3T sits between midsize and full-size in scale and price. Importantly, you can't comfortably fit a 4-by-8 sheet of anything delicate in the bed.

At the local hardware store, we picked up a sheet of three-quarter-inch MDF board. To securely stow it, we first had to set it inside the passenger side wheel well, then we removed the slick-operating sliding tie downs from the bed rail system. Finally, we laid the sheet down at an angle against the bed wall. We could have perched it atop the wheel arches and angled-up two position tailgate but that seems just as awkward as our three-step stowing maneuver. Another inch or two between the wheel arches and things would have been much better. The 5-foot bed and tailgate wasn't quite enough to comfortably accommodate the fiber board, but it did get the piece home, though a bit nicked.

Look skeptically at Hummer's marketing because tossing a quad or a dirt bike in the back is near fantasy with an amazingly high lift over height and no bumper steps to get up there. We had to vault ourselves using the tire to step up into the bed.

We didn't test its towing prowess, but the H3T Alpha carries a 1,500-pound pulling capacity over the regular T with a five-cylinder engine, clocking in at a respectable 5,900 pounds.

The H3T's ride isn't anything to write home about. It reminds me of the Colorado with a bit more truckish flavor, as a result of its heavier suspension, differentials and bigger tires. We can appreciate that. As one might expect of a vehicle seemingly shaped in a brickyard, high crosswinds challenge the H3T's slab-sided profile, blowing the truck all over the place. Huge anti-roll bars mean turn-in is crisp, braking is solid from discs at all four corners, but on-pavement driving isn't really the Hummer's modus operandi. If you're looking for on-road duty alone, the H3T isn't really designed for the day-to-day grind, the place where the Hummer shines is being a truck as well as a stout off-road vehicle.

To put this to the test, we visited the AM General testing facility, home of the Hummer Driving Academy. The school rests on the bones of the old Studebaker testing grounds and heavy truck manufacturing plant. The facility is 320 acres on the edge of South Bend, Ind., and starts students off with classroom training to familiarize owners and military personnel with the specific capabilities of their vehicles.

The students are first taken to an engineered obstacle course to teach them the basics of approach and vehicle control. It has concrete shelves, groomed rock beds and a stunning 60 percent grade that feels a little weird when you climb it for the first time.

When the instructors are happy with the students’ performance, they head for the woods, where there are 18 miles of trails of wildly varying difficulty.

Since it was a painful 7 degrees outside, we decided to avoid the holes designed to get you stuck for winching and towing training, but we certainly put the truck through a challenging December workout.

We drove through thick, slippery, ice-covered bogs, and on more than one occasion we tested the limits of the truck’s 24-inch fording capability and aggressive approach, departure and breakover angles. Despite the courses being designed before the H3T was a glint in GM’s eye, the truck performed exceedingly well on AM General's course, though we admittedly didn't venture into the really, really, nasty stuff. This course, combined with previous experiences, convinced us this is about as good as buyers are going to get for factory stock truck going off-road — certainly for a midsize truck. Sure, the Power Wagon and Raptor will do it bigger or faster, but good luck getting them down the narrower logging roads without replacing mirrors regularly.

The thing about this Hummer — actually, any Hummer — is that its character sucks you in. As a Hummer outsider, you can't help but approach it now with a weirdly preprogrammed sense of reactionary disdain for the wretched excess it represents. But by the end of your first week, you're wearing military surplus parkas and growing your beard out. It's completely incomprehensible. It's as if the truck was infused with testosterone and it influences your persona. It's a weird mix of all the things you remember loving about trucks in childhood, the things you demand out of modern trucks, and the flaws that make truck ownership not for everyone. As a subset, the Hummer H3T isn't for everyone, but it's a reasonable compromise of many characteristics if you want luxury, capacity and serious capability and are willing to live with some flaws. There aren't any others like it.

the company's so-called SYNC App Ecosystem

Hands on with MyFord Touch and SYNC App Ecosystem – Click above for high-res image gallery

You've read the PR, seen the press shots and probably snickered a little at the quote from Ford's Derrick Kuzak indicating that his company's latest tech "will cause people to fall in love with their vehicles again." After getting a chance to play with a few entrants into the company's so-called SYNC App Ecosystem, and getting behind the wheel of a MyFord Touch-equipped mockup vehicle, we're not laughing – but we are smiling. It's impressive tech, so follow the jump to see some videos and check our impressions.

Ford Sync App Ecosystem and MyFord

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Nissan has named the latest addition

Nissan has named the latest addition to its line up of quirky crossovers, as well as releasing the gloomy teaser shot you see here. Inspired by the Qazana concept shown in Geneva last year, and following in the footsteps of the hugely successful Qashqai, the 'Juke' is designed to offer customers a funky alternative to the traditional small hatchback.

From this dimly-lit photo it's clear that the concept car's swollen wheels arches have been carried over, along with the narrow, elongated headlights and oversize fog lights underneath. It appears the 370Z-inspired rear boomerang lights will also make production, while the windscreen and roofline have taken on a more angular profile.

Slotting in between the Note and Qashqai, the Juke will expand Nissan's broad range even further. And when it goes on sale in October, it should provide a welcome boost for the UK car industry too - it will be built alongside the Qashqai and Qashqai+2 at Nissan's Sunderland plant.

Full details on the newcomer will be realeaed at the global media unveiling on February 10th, but it's public debut won't be until the Geneva Motor Show in March.

there were multiple C4C bills considered by U.S. policymakers

Like everywhere else on the planet, new car sales are down in Japan (17 percent versus 2008 levels, to be exact). And, like a number of other countries, Japan has decided to spur automobile sales by creating a cash-for-clunkers-style program at a cost of $3.7 billion. Unlike similar programs from other countries, including the one that ended late last year in the U.S., Japan has drafted a set of rules that strongly favors its own automakers – in effect precluding American cars from qualifying for sales incentives of up to $2,830 per vehicle. Eighty-seven percent of all Japan's domestic models qualify.

By way of comparison, there were multiple C4C bills considered by U.S. policymakers, and the program that eventually went into effect allowed any and all sufficiently fuel efficient vehicles to qualify for its incentives, regardless of their country of origin. After it was all said and done, 319,300 out of a total of 677,000 (just about half) of all C4C sales were Japanese cars.

According to the Detroit News, a number of American lawmakers, including Rep. Betty Sutton, D-Ohio, have called Japan's program "discriminatory and fundamentally unfair... unacceptable and outrageous." To highlight her displeasure over Japan's insular auto market – to wit, imports make up less than five percent of all new car sales in Japan – Sutton has introduced a bill this week urging President Obama to attempt to force Japan into including American automobiles in its C4C program. What are the chances of it passing? Something about snowballs comes to mind...

Now that Michael has returned to the circus

Ralf Schumacher entered Formula One six years after his brother Michael, with the same Jordan team that introduced his sibling to the grid. That's about where the similarities end. After an 11-year career with Williams, Jordan, and Toyota, Ralf retired in 2007 and ended up in the DTM series. He was a good driver and had a decent car early in his Williams tenure, but he simply didn't have the edge. He ended up with fewer race wins, six, than his brother did World Championships.

Now that Michael has returned to the circus, it looks like Ralf wants his turn under the Big Top again. Ralf said, "I know that my reputation suffered during my time at Toyota but I left that behind me. I know what I can do and I feel ready to do it again." Having turned down a race seat with one of the new teams, other rumors suggest that he's talking to Toro Rosso, where he would replace Jaime Alguersuari and partner Sebastien Buemi. Toro Rosso and Renault – and Sauber, depending – are essentially the only teams who have openings and a chance of giving Ralf a car he can do something with.

Audi A7 confirmed for U.S. and S8 model in the works

2011 Audi A8 – Click above for high-res image gallery

At last week's tony Design Miami reveal of the 2011 A8 luxury cruiser, we were able to corner Johan de Nysschen, Audi's executive vice president in North America, and ask him for some tasty tibits on the brand's upcoming products, including the A8's sexier derivative, the A7.

In addition to giving us the first official confirmation of the A7's existence, de Nysschen revealed that the four-door coupe model will slot in "a little bit below" the new A8 in terms of pricing, just as we expected. Of course, it's worth noting that the 2011 A8 faces a price bump due to substantial increases in content and technology, so when the A7 finally comes to the States, the average model is likely to sticker at around $82,000-$83,000, which de Nysschen says is about the price for a typically equipped 2010 A8 (pricing starts at $74,550 plus delivery).

Based on Audi's new longitudinal modular platform technology, the A7 will be clearly related to the A8 (and the A6 replacement that will follow it), and de Nysschen says that the 2009 Detroit Auto Show Sportback concept car serves as a "very reliable indicator" of what the production model will look like. Judging by recent spy shots from our friends at KGP, that very much appears to be the case. While parts commonality will be "substantial," de Nysschen says that the A7 will not use the full aluminum spaceframe design of the A8, although it will have aluminum elements.

As expected, the A8 will launch Stateside in both standard and long-wheelbase formats, with the latter predicted to make up the lion's share of the volume (the A8L presently accounts for about 80 percent of the model's sales).

We asked De Nysschen about how the two models will interact in the full-size luxury sedan segment, and he noted that:

"This top end segment is characterized by more conservative people, and we need to clearly take lower levels of risk with a flagship model [the A8]. But we recognize too that there is a sizable enough cluster of customers in that same segment who are ready for a more avant-garde design [the A7]. So we will essentially be positioning two cars into the same segment, which means that independently, the volume each attains is not that significant, but when you put them together, it will mean that our share of that segment will grow quite dramatically."

All-in De Nysschen thinks that the A8 will account for about 4,000 to 5,000 sales per year in the U.S., and the less costly A7 could clear 7,000-8,000 additional units.

And what of a high-performance S8 to take on Mercedes-Benz's AMG lineup, or the A5 Sportback? Click through to the jump for more details.

2011 Audi A8: Live from Miami

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